Matriarch
by Llewlyn
Summary: Running low on food, Janeway is obliged to accept an invitation to a Laotir holiday during a planetwide auroralike storm.  Damned fine time to have to pay a formal courtesy call... The invitation is black tie, and someone spiked the punch. JanewayTuvok.
1. Formal Ties

**AN: **This is intended to take place midway through the Voyager's passage through the Delta Quadrant. It is also intended to be a kind of a romance between the captain and her Vulcan security chief, so if you aren't a fan of Tuvok... hey, how could you not be? well, to each, and so on... ::grins:: All mistakes are mine; all characters, ships, and quirks belong to the great Paramount Federation. Can you believe it's been 40 years??

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Captain Janeway sighed in the nearly soundless way she had perfected over years of captaining her highly diverse crew. Many of them were light years from what would be considered proper Starfleet material. But then she supposed that was appropriate, since they were not within light years of Starfleet. She should know exactly how far they had come, and how far they still had to go, but concentrated on pinning her hair back instead of recalling numbers. She scowled at the mirror. Damned fine time to have to pay a formal courtesy call when they were running so low on edibles. But Neelix had insisted that they could not pass through the Laotir system without a formal visit, and damned if it wasn't the exact week the Laotir noble class was throwing a ball to celebrate some holy day or another, and Janeway couldn't pass up the invitation if she hoped to negotiate for supplies. 

Neelix had informed her, rather helpfully, that the Laotir were a matriarchal society, and Janeway had decided to head the away team herself. Chakotay had cheerfully declined to accompany her, claiming two left feet, which he then had to explain to Tuvok, much to the bridge crew's amusement. So she had asked Tuvok to pose as her consort, and he had readily accepted, preferring to keep her as close as possible if she insisted on beaming down to the planet. Kim and B'Elanna would round out the away team, providing observation as well as a little extra security. Diplomatic missions were rarer than they should be, and Janeway suspected that she was feeling tense just because nothing was wrong. Yet.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a chime at the door. Her 'date' had arrived. She attempted a smile. "Come in." Her smile became genuine at the very moment she tried to stifle it, as Tuvok wandered in slowly, his attention and both hands fixed on his collar.

"The Laotir formal neck ties seem to be…" He paused, and tried a different configuration. The slippery ties seemed to knot for a moment, and then came undone in his long fingers. With tense patience, he retied the knot, as Janeway used the extra moment to get her amusement under wraps. Finally, Tuvok looked up at her, his upswept eyebrows creased in a stern frown. "They did not come with instructions." His gaze softened slightly as he took in his captain's long blue gown and arm coverings. "I perceive the strength of the matriarch class in the simplicity of your clothing." Was that wryness in his voice, or approval? As with every emotion he betrayed, it was so subtle as to be virtually nonexistent, but she knew him well enough to suspect the former of the two.

Janeway stepped closer to him, studying the ties at his neck. "May I?" He raised an eyebrow, as if questioning her neck-tie tying abilities, but then nodded once, his dark eyes calm. As she reached up to take the ties in her hands, her body instantly registered that a line had been crossed, a line of unvarying physical distance that she and her chief of security maintained at all times. She knew intellectually that humans were an unpleasant riot of unshielded sensations for a touch telepath to come into contact with, and she was meticulously careful not to discomfort her friend. But she realized that no amount of care was going to prevent them from coming into some sort of physical contact tonight, however she would try to limit it. As she worked one end of the silken tie through a loop in the other, her brow creased in thought. "Tuvok… we might be required to dance…"

He didn't even waver. "I know, Captain. And I am prepared for that eventuality. Thank you for your concern, but it is not necessary."

She nodded. "I should have expected as much, old friend." With a flick of her wrist, the ties fell into a looping bow that was similar to an Earth style bowtie. Janeway tried to flatten it, and succeeded by tucking the ends in. She turned to look at Tuvok in the mirror. The jacket he wore had no sleeves, exposing his finely muscled arms, but the collar rose uncomfortably against his jawline. In contrast, Janeway's clothing did not discomfort her at all, except that it was a little low in the back. Tuvok's brow was very slightly creased, and his eyes flicked to Janeway's gown again, his eyebrows riding up gently. She could read his expression very clearly now, but he did her the favor of clarifying, anyway.

"I have to say, Captain, that you came off much better in this exchange of culture."

She couldn't suppress a smile anymore, though she tried very valiantly to do so.

"Tuvok, you look very handsome. I feel like I should be asking you for a corsage."

"Would that be another obscure Old Earth reference?" She felt the kindling warmth of his dry humor, and nodded, feeling a wicked streak rising.

"A terrifying ritual called 'Prom.' A formal dance for those entering adulthood that began with the gift of flowers and ended with a deflowering, in many cases. Still honored in many Earth societies and colonies."

Tuvok rallied with fine courage, his modulated voice only catching very slightly on an intake of breath. "I am sorry to inform you, Captain, that I have no corsage to offer you."

"Ah, more's the pity. Tuvok. I suppose now you'll shame me by bringing me home before midnight…"

"If your honor would be impugned, Captain, I might be able to find a place to conceal you to wait for a more appropriate time."

At this, Janeway laughed outright. "That round to you, Tuvok." He gazed primly at her, acknowledging the point, the light in his eyes probably just a reflection from the half illumination of her cabin. Janeway palmed her communicator, searched for an appropriate place on her dress to clasp it, and then just settled for pressing it like a brooch right where it normally sat on her much more comfortable uniform. "Shall we?"

He bowed her forward, and she strode out the door, not forgetting for a moment that she was dressed for a ball, but certain that it would have absolutely no effect on anyone's ability to follow orders. Tuvok followed close behind, believing with his entire mind that the way the captain was dressed would have absolutely no effect on him. But he couldn't help notice, in an entirely clinical and disconnected manner, that the cut of her Laotir dress was so low in the back that he would have very few places, during a dance, to position his hand without either touching his captain's mind space or earning a permanent reprimand on his record.


	2. The Vulcan Lute

**Disclaimer: **Star Trek belongs to Paramount, and all those who have breathed life into the characters of its universe.

* * *

The away team beamed down five hundred meters from the main temple for the second time in the day cycle, the first having been to make initial contact and receive the party clothes that the Laotir insisted on making a gift. On this return, Janeway had brought them a beautiful Vulcan lute, a new musical instrument to the culture, but not a new technology. The Laotir had stringed instruments, but none that were played while being held.

Tuvok cradled the lute carefully in his hands as he walked silently through the fading dusk. Although it was not his own but rather, a replicated instrument, he had used his own as the model and felt a certain amount of kinship with the smooth wood. B'Elanna Torres smirked at the way he held it, as if the precise Vulcan were afraid of dropping it.

"Do you need any help with that, Tuvok?"

"No, Lieutenant Torres." Tuvok looked blandly at her, deciding that distracting her would be the quickest way of clearing his path. "You look quite lovely in your Laotir clothing." As he expected, Torres looked down at her dress, and he brushed gracefully by her before she could make any other threats of 'help.' Ensign Kim grinned and shook his head, wishing for the thousandth time that he could be smooth like that. B'Elanna realized she'd been had, but could do nothing but follow after the captain, a fume beginning in the pit of her stomach. B'Elanna generally disliked parties. She generally disliked dresses, as well. But most of all, tonight, she disliked the damnably self-assured Vulcan. Instead of dwelling on it, she opened up her tricorder and took ambient readings from their surroundings.

"Captain, the aurora formations seem to be getting denser." The half-human, half-Klingon Chief Engineer peered at the temple array, a strange mass of twelve antennae collected around a central structure. It was their destination. B'Elanna was bothered that the Laotir had requested that they bring no overnight bags or gear of any kind, insisting that everything would be provided for. The captain had at least managed to convince them that communicators and a tricorder were necessary to ensure their safety from anything on the planet that might not be friendly to human, Klingon, or Vulcan. The Laotir had agreed grudgingly, but had insisted that nothing electronic would work once the storm reached full intensity. After a few moments, B'Elanna agreed that this was probably the case.

Captain Janeway came to a halt in a flutter of blue silks in front of the tall and sleek four-armed Laotir. She bowed with her hands clasped together, the closest approximation of the ritual greeting she could manage with only two arms, and then introduced herself. "It is with great pleasure that I introduce the other members of my crew. This is Tuvok, my Second officer, Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres, and Ensign Kim." They each bowed slightly lower than their captain.

The pale ivory female Laotir, dressed in red silks, returned the greeting. "I am Kio, whom your captain has already met. You are welcome here to Baloti, our first planet." Her voice was high and musical, very pleasing to Janeway's ears. She waved a graceful arm at her companion. "This is my consort, Lir."

Lir bowed much lower than Kio had, endorsing Neelix's view of the society. "We are glad to share our celebration of the First Joining."

The captain smiled, glancing at Tuvok, who stepped slightly forward. She lifted her chin slightly. "It is traditional among our people to present those who greet us with a gift. This is a lute, an instrument from the planet Vulcan. We would be pleased if you would accept it."

Kio wagged her smooth head back and forth gently. "We would be most honored to accept, but would you show us how it is played?"

Janeway felt the warmth of Tuvok's pleasure like a ray of sunlight, though his outward appearance betrayed nothing. "I will show you." She smiled for him. Their hosts led them into a central area where food and drink had been set up, and Lir brought a chair for Tuvok to sit on. It was not quite the right height, being too short for the longer shin-bones and fewer joints of most of the Voyager crew, but Tuvok managed with minor adjustment to find his place. He settled the lute against his thigh, tuned it for a moment, and then sat quietly, his expectant audience surrounding him. Janeway was quite looking forward to this—she didn't much get a chance to hear Tuvok play, as he usually did so in the privacy of his room. But as she glanced around, she saw that Torres' eyes were already beginning to glaze over. Maybe B'Elanna hadn't been the best pick for this mission, despite her valuable engineering skills. Janeway could have guessed as much as she had been told already. She could have brought Kes, but that would have made Neelix insanely jealous, and then she would have had to bring Neelix… and then Tuvok began to play.

The notes of the song were spare. The Laotir stood silent, gently waving like reeds in the wind. Tuvok played only a short piece, something that could easily be taken for a lullaby. With a pang, Janeway thought of his children and grandchildren who might never again hear him play to soothe their sleep. Her heart clutched in her throat as powerfully as it had on the first day they had realized they were not coming home. She swallowed back her grief and focused on the beauty of the song, and tried not to think about anything else.

As the last note faded away, Janeway realized that she was near tears, her eyes fixed on those of her security chief. He returned her gaze steadily, even as their hosts lifted their limbs in the air in accolades. Calm strength seemed to fill her, and a peaceful assurance, as if Tuvok were holding her hand, and not sitting two meters away. She nodded, and with an effort, turned to smile at Kio. "Is our gift acceptable to you?"

Kio seemed to think about it for a moment, nodding her head. "May we also keep your Tuvok to teach us how to play? You would be well reimbursed, of course, for his considerable value."

Her shock must have been clear on her face, because the Laotir immediately waved their arms at her in appeasement. Janeway recovered quickly and shook her head firmly, and hoped this race had a sense of humor. "I would never part with him. Tuvok is too valuable to me." She found a smile somewhere. "I would like to hear your music, if you would be so kind."

Kio nodded, her head waving vigorously. "He is indeed a wondrous consort. You are a powerful leader, Kathryn Janeway, to intrigue such a male to stay at your side. We shall play many things for you. Come!"

Kim and Torres, standing behind Janeway, exchanged stunned looks. This culture found it perfectly acceptable to barter with men? Tuvok joined them, both eyebrows raised in ill-concealed curiosity. "It seems I am indebted to you, Captain. Although you might have been able to trade me for a good amount of vegetables."

Janeway looped her arm through his protectively, careful that her bare skin did not touch his. "Not on my watch, mister." They followed Kio into the hall through large doors carved from a pale golden wood. Kim turned to Torres as they walked under the archway.

"Does this mean I'm your consort, B'Elanna?" She grinned at him, and he smiled back a little nervously. "You aren't planning to trade me for anything, are you?"

"Harry, you have nothing to fear from me." He laughed softly, his dark eyes shining. B'Elanna paused for a moment, and then added, "Unless they have replicators that could be adapted to work off the holodeck energy grid."

The smile slid right off his face.


	3. One Dance More

**AN: **I am afraid the last chapter's disclaimer will have to do for the rest. Nothing's changed in the arena of ownership, darn it all. Thank you for reading, and please consider leaving a review to let me know what you think. Alright, i'll leave you to it, then. --Llew

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The music of the Laotir was lively and very easy to dance to, although the aliens themselves could execute very complex moves with their additional set of leg joints, making them look a little like thin, tall satyrs with four arms. Food and drink were in plenty, and the atmosphere was so full of joy that Janeway almost forgot that she had a mission and a ship. Tuvok danced very stiffly for the first few moments until Janeway figured out that he didn't know quite where to place his hand. With a firmness that brooked no argument, she reached behind her and slid his hand down to its proper place, her exposed lower back. He frowned with both eyebrows, but quickly acknowledged that this position gave him much better control, and accepted it. After that small adjustment, she couldn't have asked for a more graceful partner, if not a more talkative one. The dances were mostly done in circles of twelve, and the landing party quickly realized that the number had a great significance here. B'Elanna was laughing and breathless by the fourth dance, and Harry Kim was having a hard time keeping up with her, but he was enjoying having a hard time. After the fourth dance, Tuvok was begged over to play the lute, and plied with a tray of drinks and food, and Janeway grinned, suspecting that they would attempt to get him to defect regardless of her wishes. She chuckled and shook her head, and walked over to B'Elanna and Kim.

"B'Elanna, I'd like you to slip away and get a closer look at that array from the inside. See if you can figure out what it's for. Kim, take a dance with me, and then follow Torres out." Both officers nodded, Kim a little nervously. Janeway smiled at him. "Don't worry, Harry. I don't bite."

"Yes, ma'am." He took her arm and led her back to the dance. Kim was a less proficient dancer than Tuvok, but more enthusiastic, and Janeway smiled as she learned the steps of this ancient ritual, her ears tuned to the notes of the Vulcan lute that threaded their way through the harmony.

When the set ended, Kim slipped away with a flushed bow toward his captain, and Janeway worked her way through the crowd of celebrating Laotir to Tuvok, who was standing with a boot on a chair, his posture curiously relaxed, the lute resting loosely on his well-muscled thigh. The crowd of musicians surrounding him were all playing feverishly, heads weaving in time to the music, and his hands were moving so quickly over the strings that Janeway couldn't keep up. Suddenly a cheer went up, and the Laotir waved their arms in the air and shouted, and Tuvok turned and looked directly at her, and his eyes were full of laughter. Janeway covered ground quickly, and clasped his arm.

"Tuvok, are you alright?"

He nodded. "I am. One of the drinks contained a… compound very similar to sucrose, and I was… I am…" He reached his hand up to stroke her cheek with a warm fingertip, and she could only stare at him in wonder. "Would you like to dance, Kathryn?"

Janeway took the lute from his hand and placed it in the waiting arms of a soft gray colored Laotir, who bowed over the instrument with reverence and scooted away with it. She took both his hands, and he felt to her even hotter than normal. "Are you… intoxicated, Tuvok?

He smiled, then, and his eyes sparkled, and at that moment he was extraordinarily handsome, and Janeway had to shake her head to clear it. "I think I might be. It is a very strange feeling. A part of me wants to explore it at great… length." His dark eyes moved to her mouth, and she suddenly felt a little out of her depth. A drunk, amorous Vulcan was a little more than she could handle, especially when she didn't actually want to put up much of an argument. She tried for a plausible distraction.

"How long with the effects of the sucrose compound last?"

He squinted. "I am unsure, Captain. Not long. Perhaps an hour."

She nodded. "Then I would love to dance with you." He gave her a charming sloe-eyed grin and tucked her body in next to his. When they danced the next dance, he was a different partner altogether—now she realized that he had been uncomfortable from the start, and that discomfort had now vanished. She also realized that before, she only _thought_ that she had been having fun. Now the nervousness in her stomach only added to the excitement, and her Vulcan friend was fitting like a lover against her body in the dance… her eyes slowly closed within the hypnotic music, and Tuvok held her, as so many times before, so that she would not fall.


	4. Complex Harmony

Kim caught up to B'Elanna in the darkened hallways, casting a bemused glance behind him. "Did you see Tuvok smiling back there?" B'Elanna looked at him strangely, and then shook her head.

"Have you been drinking something, Kim? Tuvok doesn't have smiling muscles." She turned back to her tricorder. "His face would crack right in half."

Kim shrugged, looking up at the temple ceiling. "Fine, don't believe me. But the way he was touching the captain, we might need to chaperone." He shook his head in disbelief at the memory of straight-laced captain and Vulcan absorbed in each other like mooning lovers in the dim light. Something was strange, that was certain. Torres was staring at him now, trying to decide whether to take him seriously, when he shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Maybe they're good for each other. But _we_ are still under orders. So did you figure anything out?"

Torres shook her head, frustrated. "The interference from the storm is so bad I can hardly make anything out at all. It's clear that each of these antennae is connected to a single room, and they are energy collectors of a sort. So my guess is that the Laotir perform some sort of energy ritual in each room, and it all gets collected into the array. Beyond that…" She shrugged.

Kim nodded thoughtfully. "Twelve rooms. And the array is pointed up at the aurora, so something the array does must affect the aurora, or the storm."

"But if electricity doesn't work, what kind of energy are they collecting?"

"Psychic? There have been signs of a rudimentary psychic power with these people."

Torres looked strangely at him. "How do you know?"

Kim shrugged. "Well, their musical harmony is incredibly complex, but they use no written score—it all seems improvised. And they made Tuvok smile. Who else could do that?"

She studied him for a moment, and then closed the tricorder. "This I have see for myself."

When they reached the main room, they both stopped at the edge of the floor, stunned. Tuvok and Janeway were standing nose to nose, completely still. The dance continued around them, wild energy crackling around Kim and Torres. Kio spotted them from across the room and hustled across, blocking their view.

"Can I get you anything before you go? The Ritual is about to begin, you realize, and you cannot stay here."

B'Elanna frowned, trying to get a glimpse of her captain. "What do you mean, we can't stay? What are you doing to Tuvok?"

Kio wagged her head. "He is doing it all himself. It is for the Ritual. The Joining. You cannot interrupt. You must call your ship."

Torres pushed past her. "I have to ask the captain for permission." Kim followed in her wake, and they strode up to the captain and Tuvok, who seemed to be caught up in a trance. "Captain…" she said with quiet urgency. Janeway stirred, blinked, and turned, and Tuvok looked down at his hands, and released his captain gently. Janeway swallowed.

"What… what did you find out, Lieutenant?" Her voice sounded as if it were coming from far away. Tuvok looked at Torres, and frowned, and then shook his head once.

"There is considerable psychic resonance here." He made no mention of his captain's small hands still resting on his breastbone. Torres tried to focus on what she had discovered. Kim tried not to focus on the Laotir, whose ceremony had come to an abrupt halt.

"There is, Tuvok. The array is a psychic collector, we think. Harry figured it out. It's probably the only kind of energy that works down here during the aurora and the conjoined storm."

Kim stepped up next to her. "We have been asked to leave, Captain. They want us to go and you and Tuvok to stay for a ritual they call the Joining."

Janeway shook her head again, more decisive now. She released her hold on her second officer and turned to Kio, who was standing behind Kim. "What is all of this for, Kio?"

"You have been requested to become one with us for the Joining, Captain Janeway and Tuvok. It will soon be too late for your others to go back, and they will have to stay outside the temple. Nothing must be disrupted. The Ritual of the Joining is critical to our year's crops. It is too late to get others now. And we greatly wish you and your consort would stay with us." She sounded almost pleading. Janeway turned to Tuvok, and he leaned in to her, his gaze steady and calm once more.

"Captain, I am certain that we will not be allowed to leave. I advise you to allow Kim and Torres back up to the ship, as they have the best chance of deciphering this storm. I do not believe they mean us harm."

After a moment, Janeway nodded. "Agreed. We will stay." She turned to Kim and Torres. "Beam back to the ship at once. Study this storm. We will continue our negotiation for supplies in the morning. By then I expect the transporters to be able to punch through any interference."

Both officers looked dismayed at leaving the captain behind, but Kim was too disciplined to argue. Torres stepped forward, though. "Captain, what do they want of you? What if it could harm you?"

Janeway shook her head. "We will be fine, Lieutenant. You do your job, and I will do mine. Understood?"

Reluctantly, Torres nodded. Janeway tapped her communicator. "Janeway to Chakotay."

Janeway could hear the tense tenor of Chakotay's concern through the commlink. "About time. The aurora might be beautiful, but the interference is playing havoc with our transporter locks. It's now or never."

Janeway nodded at Kim and Torres. "Beam up Harry and B'Elanna, Commander. Tuvok and I are staying on the surface until morning." She felt Tuvok at her back, a steady reassuring presence, and was grateful. Kim and Torres got into position and waited a tense moment until the familiar beams of the transporter took hold of them and they vanished in an unsteady burst. After a moment of silence, a crackle jumped from Janeway's communicator. It was Torres.

"Captain, we just lost our main Transporter circuit to an overload. It will take an hour to replace and repair everything. With the storm's intensity, we won't be able to get you out until it's over. Dammit, Captain!" Janeway heard the anger in her voice. "You should have come."

"That wasn't your choice, Lieutenant. I'm _not_ sorry that my Chief Engineer is up there working on the problem."

"Captain, would you like us to send you a shuttle?" Chakotay knew as well as Janeway did that the shuttle would have a rough ride. She sighed and scrubbed a hand over her eyes.

"No, Chakotay. We'll stay in our host's accommodations for the night, as they meant for us to. As long as we have communication, I can inform you if the situation changes. Janeway out."


	5. Warmth

And that was that. Laotir in pairs were already breaking off. Kio motioned Janeway and Tuvok to follow her, and she walked down the temple hallway. They soon came to a small door, and Kio opened it for them. "You will find all that you need here to complete the Joining. I wish you well." Then she was gone.

Janeway cast Tuvok a rueful glance, and Tuvok gave her a nod, and glanced around the tiny room, giving it a thorough inspection before they entered. He noted a small bed with no floor space to speak of, a single blanket, and a glassed-in washing area. At least the toilet was private, even if it was only a small closet. Compared to this, Tuvok's quarters were positively lavish. Janeway looked in to the showering area.

"How do you turn on the water?" She walked in and underneath the spigot, which was set into the ceiling, and then turned around and looked at Tuvok, a wry smile on her face. "I must be missing something."

Tuvok walked into the glassed-in shower with her. It consisted of the spigot, a drain, and a small seat nearly a meter away from the center, presumably for changing. Janeway sighed and shook her head. "We might as well get as comfortable as possible." She sat on the tiled seat, and the spigot above Tuvok flooded with water and drenched the Vulcan where he stood.

Shocked, Janeway immediately sprang up, and the torrent also stopped. Tuvok looked at the seat, wiping water from his brow with an unhurried hand, and gazed at the spigot. "Please sit down again, Captain, if you don't mind."

Janeway's eyes narrowed, already formulating a hypothesis that Tuvok was in the process of testing. She sat on the seat again and the valve opened, drenching Tuvok with a second wave of steaming water. He stepped out from under the flow and walked around the shower area, but when he cleared a distance of about three quarters of a meter from the drain, the valve closed again. He nodded mildly, as if he were not shedding several quarts of water in his dress clothes, and glanced at his captain. She was looking at the narrow bed, and the thin sheet, and the small pile of sleeping clothes that had been provided them. When she finally spoke, it was prompted by the chilled gooseflesh already evident on Tuvok's arms. "It's getting cooler in here, isn't it?"

He nodded. "The shower system might have triggered a cooling of the room that would further force the occupants to… assist each other."

Janeway nodded. "This entire room is a system designed to make people dependent on each other—for bathing, for warmth… what a unique society this is." She gave a sharp, decisive nod. "You need to get out of those wet clothes. Don't argue."

His mouth already open, Tuvok paused, and then tried again. "I was not intending to argue."

"Good." Janeway sifted through the pile of clothing and came up with a two sleeping shirts and pants. One shirt was open along both sides, only held together by two bands of cloth. Dismayed, she discovered that the other provided even less coverage, coming down only far enough to cover half the torso, and sleeveless as well, and was sized too small for her security chief, anyway. So much for comfort and warmth. Tuvok's strict policy of privacy and limited physical contact was going to get a little broader tonight, out of sheer necessity.


	6. Sound Advice

At least the small toilet room afforded them a private place to change. Janeway had thought to go out into the hallway to ask for some warmer bedclothes, but the hallways were deserted, each Laotir coupled off in their own rooms for the ceremonies. She wondered uncharitably if all the Laotir babies were born at the exact same time, too. Irritated that they had been caught so thoroughly off guard in a situation at once harmless and extremely uncomfortable, she could do nothing but fume. Had she beamed down with Chakotay, they would have curled up together and told stories all night until falling asleep, with no harm to body, soul or command chain. But Tuvok, whose privacy was a matter of cultural imperative, and to whom 'curling up with' involved a violation of body and _katra_, well… it just might be a very cold night. Too bad his sucrose-induced intoxication had worn off… although had that gone any further, well, she had trained herself not to go too far down that path of thought.

But Janeway found that she had underestimated her Vulcan friend. When she exited the small toilet room, he was already arranging the bed in the warmest possible manner, using her gown as an additional covering as well as the two dry towels. He had shed his wet clothes and used a small cloth to dry himself, and was already dressed in the inadequate tunic and pants. Janeway was very glad it was not her and her voluminous hair that had gotten drenched, and said as much. Tuvok nodded, his eyes intent. "I already suspected something of the sort when you began to sit. It was the only logical alternative besides a voice command, which we were not given."

"So why didn't you move out of the way?"

He blinked slowly at her, the prone equivalent of a Vulcan shrug. "I surmised that a person would have to be in close proximity. These societies we have encountered in the Delta Quadrant do not waste water, Captain."

Janeway paused for a moment, and then got under the covers, feeling somewhat like she was breaking the Prime Directive. The lights immediately went out, and the view from the aurora flooded the room with brilliant blue and pink light. It would have been breathtaking had she not begun to shiver in the ambient temperature. She could feel Tuvok about to speak, although she didn't know how she knew, and she turned to him.

"Captain, I have been meditating. I am prepared for the necessity of keeping you warm." He paused, and when he spoke again, his voice was softer. "It is the only logical course open to us. The bed coverings are only designed to hold a minimal amount of heat—not to make it. I estimate the temperature at 45 degrees Fahrenheit, and it has dropped two degrees since the lights shut off."

She nodded, her teeth already clicking together. "Your logic is impeccable, as always. But I do not wish to offend you, old friend." She still did not move toward him, although her shaking was now making the bed tremble.

In the darkness, she heard a snort of what sounded suspiciously like laughter. "Captain, you are behaving illogically. If I have no reservations, then you should not. Please. You will wake the entire temple with your shivering."

Janeway chuckled, and gave in to his impeccable logic, and the unavoidable temptation of the higher body heat of her Vulcan friend. She scooted close to him, folding one arm against him and wrapping one arm around the soft material of his tunic. He pulled her close, tucking her head comfortably under his chin. It was a position born of long practice for both of them, though never with each other, and it filled her with a sudden, powerful grief for what each of them had lost. She struggled to clamp down on her emotions, regretting the discomfort she knew she was causing him, but her emotional control was weak.

Tuvok could feel her struggle, and it woke up his own need to further meditate. His captain was trying to protect him before she even tried to protect herself, and he knew that was what humans identified as nobility. Kathryn had never lacked for nobility. However, she would do much better if she were calm, and he could help her with that. At least, he thought he could. He had discovered through much observation that humans comforted each other most effectively through touch. His captain often touched her officers and crew when they had done well, or when they showed discomfort or grief. She had touched him quite more often than he was certain she was aware, and so he had developed a sort of comfort level with her physical contact. Now he took a calming breath and reached one hand up to cradle her head, the other settling below the edge of her short tunic, pooling warmth against her chilled skin. She stiffened slightly, then slowly relaxed, her body unbending against him. After a moment, she spoke.

"I had thought I had successfully forgotten what it was that I had left behind, old friend. Still, I am… afraid to completely let my guard down." Her voice trailed off, and Tuvok realized that she had _not_ said a great deal more, and had likely betrayed something she had intended to keep private. He noticed also that her heart rate had increased slightly. He pulled slightly away from her, his curiosity overcoming his propriety, not for the first time. Her light eyes were solemn, filled with the deep passion that marked her as the intense woman that pulled their ship through impossible situation after impossible situation, keeping the crew motivated and on task against all logic and reason. He studied her, and she allowed it, gazing back at him steadily and without fear or embarrassment.

"Are you implying that you would consider me a potential mate, Kathryn?"

She smiled at him, not missing that he had used her first name, a very rare occurrence. "Yes, Tuvok, I would, although I recognize that you have a family and that I am your commanding officer, and those two things prevent me from… thinking about it often. Does that surprise you?"

His brow creased in a mild frown, but his eyes were as soft as she had ever seen them. "Yet you have never shown me preferential treatment. In fact, you have ignored my sound advice on many occasions when I have been very concerned for your safety. If I were capable of surprise, then yes, this would be the occasion for it."

Janeway watched him for a moment, her eyes tracing the familiar contours of his stern features, softened now in the half-light. "Tuvok, you have saved my life with your sound advice more times than I can count."

"Two hundred and twenty eight times," he said softly.

"What was that?" Her heart constricted a little.

"You have put your life in danger many more times than that, Captain, but you have relied on my advice or support, or both, exactly two hundred and twenty eight times, resulting in your returning to the ship more or less unharmed."

She was silent for a moment, digesting this. Despite her strong self-discipline and her awareness of the mind games this culture was playing on them, her barriers were weakening. She summoned up every ounce of strength she had. "This will be two hundred and twenty nine, my friend?"

"You are not in any danger tonight, Captain. This room is secure, and when the storm is over, we will again be in contact with our ship. Hopefully the Laotir will be convinced that we have successfully completed the ceremonial Joining, and we can proceed with negotiations."

Janeway nodded and swallowed, and then smiled slightly. "Tuvok, humans and Vulcans sometimes have slightly different definitions of 'danger.' But thank you. You reassure me."

Tuvok studied her for quite some time, and she studied him in return. She could feel his precisely measured breathing, so steady she could have used it as a base for meditation. After a long silence, she felt him come to a conclusion. "You mean that you are in emotional danger, Captain." It was not a question.

"It's not life-threatening," she answered dryly.

"It can be for Vulcans," he rejoined.

She had no answer to that.


	7. Ritual

At some point, Janeway drifted into a fitful sleep, dreams full of beings made of aurora light that locked her in a cold sphere. Tuvok was in another sphere, asleep, but she could not reach him, or speak to him, because no sound came from her throat. Afraid and alone, she beat at the walls, until someone took her hands and held them. It was her security chief, in the sphere with her now. His features were kind, and his lips flickered in a near-smile. She allowed him to wrap his arms around her and stroke her hair, and the sphere and the aurora beings vanished, and faded into darkness.

She awoke to a knock on the door. Tuvok was already sliding out of bed, but the heat from his arms lingered on her skin, and it took her a moment to register that he had enveloped her bare back and sides in his arms to maximize direct contact with her, in order to provide more heat. She must have been shivering in her sleep. And if he had been touching her so directly, in all likelihood, he had in some way assisted her out of her bad dream. This situation was far beyond what she could reasonably have expected of him. She would deal with the visitor, and then order him back up to the ship as soon as the repairs were completed, even if they had to send a shuttlecraft.

Tuvok opened the door to their hosts, who looked very nervous by normal humanoid standards. Lir was peering around the room, looking for Janeway. She quickly met Tuvok at the door. "Can we help you?"

Kio shuffled her jointed feet. "The ceremony has not been completed. You have not Joined, and we are running out of time."

Janeway exchanged a raised eyebrow with Tuvok. So much for fooling them. "What exactly do you expect us to do?"

Lir stepped in slightly, and Tuvok immediately stepped in front of his captain. Janeway put a hand on his arm, belatedly realized as her hand touched his warm skin that he had no sleeves, and then wondered why the hell it would matter now. She slid her hand down his forearm and slipped her hand into his, squeezing it cautiously. Lir spoke as if to two children. "If there is no Joining of the Twelve Chosen, we cannot complete the Array, and the storm will not disperse its life-giving energy upon our lands. Was this not explained? It was discussed among us for many cycles to invite strangers into our most sacred ceremony, but Captain, you and your consort seem so vibrant, so pure and in tune with each other, that we in the end had no objections. That is why the others were asked to leave, and you were asked to stay. So that you could be the Twelfth." He took a step back, his hands reaching for his mouth. Tuvok's arm tensed, but Janeway held him still, and he nodded. Lir looked at Tuvok, and then at Janeway. His voice was shaking when he spoke again. "Have we made an error? Are you not prepared to Join? Are you not the Captain's consort, Second Officer Tuvok?" He turned to Kio. "Where will we find another for Twelfth for the Joining? It is too late!"

Janeway was ready to step forward and explain, to spare Tuvok any more discomfort, when Tuvok beat her to the punch. "Lir. You did not make a mistake. I am indeed the consort of the captain." He turned to look at her, and continued speaking. "I choose to stay with her, even in the most difficult of situations. Even when she chooses to disregard my advice and risks her life for the greater good of her ship. I would not leave her side. I have made my choice." He turned back to Lir, leaving Janeway speechless, which was certainly his intention. "However, you have made a mistake with the environmental controls. It is simply too cold for our species in this room. You must give us warmth. Only then can we complete your ceremony."

Kio looked up at the ceiling and spoke. "Computer access Kio. All environmental controls voice print off. Please warm in ten degree intervals until requested to stop." She turned to Tuvok. "I do not wish to spoil your Joining. We have four full cycles until dawn." She nodded and wagged her head. She and Lir backed out of the room. Janeway was certain they would not go far.

She turned to Tuvok. "What are you planning to do?"

"Four full cycles is nearly five hours, Captain. It is plenty of time to prepare for what I intend." His expression was carefully closed.

"What do you intend, now that we have to go through with this?"

"Initially, I intend to present you with a list of options." He sighed, gathering his thoughts, and guided his captain to sit on the bed. Facing her, his features as emotionless as she had ever seen them, he began. "We could make love. I am capable of erasing a memory from your mind."

She was nodding her head at his first thought, having already considered the simplest way out of their dilemma, but when he mentioned memory removal, she shook her head "Unacceptable. Besides, if we make love, Lieutenant Commander, I don't plan on forgetting it." She shot him a grin that she was certain he didn't appreciate, and he merely raised an eyebrow.

"I merely mentioned it, Captain, since it is clear that we will need to make an emotional connection. I am certain now that the physical act of sex will not be enough."

"Explain."

He steepled his fingers. "The way that the Laotir described our connection, and the clear emphasis they put on passion and the partners' willingness to be in the relationship. The fact that this is a matriarchal society, but the men are free to leave, even though they can also be bartered. Love and connectedness is clearly crucial to this ritual. If we cannot provide this, the ritual will fail, and Neelix will not get his vegetables."

Janeway considered this for a moment. "So you would not wish for me to remember if you are forced to render yourself… vulnerable." Her voice was not quite as free from regret as she would have wished it to be. Neither were her eyes, so she refrained from looking up at him.

He nodded. "That would not be the man that you now know and call… friend. Nor would you likely ever see him again. I would not want you to carry that additional… burden."

She looked at him then. "You could not insist."

He returned her gaze steadily. "It is what I would wish."

Janeway didn't want to argue just yet. "What are our other options?"

"One other. I could perform a mind meld. There is a joining that could create an emotional bond between us which I could remove later."

"Would you take my memory?"

He shook his head, not meeting her eyes. "Not unless you wish it. But I must warn you, that I can read your emotions across the bond quite clearly, and if I am not careful, you could read mine."

Janeway smiled. "I didn't think Vulcans had emotions."

Tuvok frowned at her, opened his mouth to correct her, and then reconsidered. "Ah, a human attempt at humor."

"I haven't had a lot of sleep, and absolutely no coffee at all." She rubbed her arms. "At least it's warmer." She thought for a moment. "I believe that the second option is the one I would favor, but I would like your opinion."

He nodded once. "That is also my choice." He turned slightly away. "Computer, stop raising temperature. Hold steady." A beep was his only acknowledgement.

She suddenly felt her earlier case of nerves return, and shook it off. "What do I need to do?"

"I will do everything." Tuvok climbed up on the bed and gestured for her to lay down facing him. He lifted her long hair off her neck and she rested her head on his upper arm. She could feel his muscles tense and then relax as he moved close enough to press his forehead against hers.

Janeway felt for a place to settle, and then frowned. "May I hold on to you for balance?"

"Yes, of course, Captain. I believe that no such boundaries exist between us anymore, at least for the duration of tonight. And until the link is severed, it will be difficult for you to resist the need to be in proximity to me." He paused, and then came clean with a visible effort. "It will be difficult for us both. The urge to be close will be very strong."

Janeway nodded. He was making her more nervous rather than less. After years of meticulous care in staying out of her Vulcan's personal space, even when she would rather not have, this closeness was almost too much to bear. Stifling personal feelings was only simple if you didn't have to face them directly, but the soft texture of his skin under her hand, the minute flexing of powerful muscles underneath, and the prospect of a tangible emotional tie to her closest friend, no matter the duration, was cracking her iron control. She wondered if he realized that he was stroking her hair, twining it through his fingers as if it was something he had longed to do, had imagined for so long that it was in his subconscious? She lifted her hand to his cheek and stroked a finger down his jaw and underneath to the silken skin of his throat, an action beyond any that she had ever allowed herself to imagine. He simply studied her, his hand twisted gently in her hair, his brown eyes fathomless in the dark.

"It is time." She nodded, but did not move her hand from the hollow where his shoulder met his throat. Through her fingertips, she could feel his pulse, and that made her feel much less lonely, for some reason, than even his nearness. He lifted his hand to the side of her face, his fingertips finding the points of access into her mind, and his eyes closed.


	8. Perception

Janeway felt herself sinking. Loneliness was banished… she was no longer alone. For a moment, she was no longer herself, and she pushed out to the boundaries of her mind.

_Kathryn… you are yourself. _There was no voice, but she felt the warmth of it, the richness of him pervade her. She relaxed.

_Tuvok… _He was a brilliant thread of heat in her thoughts, pressing gently against her eyes. Images of him that she remembered began to rise to the surface of her memory. On the bridge, scowling at her as she chose to ignore his good advice… laughing over a game of pool in the holodeck… his stern features giving way to a throaty chuckle in her ready room over a cup of tea… and most recently, his eyes flooded with wonder as he stroked her hair… she smiled, filled with a peaceful joy that felt like a sunrise

_Is this… is this how you see me?_ She could sense his confusion.

_Yes, _she thought simply.

_But this is not who I am…_

If she could have reached out to him then, she would have. _No deception, Tuvok. I'm not making anything up, I promise. Tell me if I am wrong about any of this…_

There was silence for a moment, her mind awash in his glow. She felt as if she were floating in a nebula. When his thoughts returned to her, she felt his attempt to steady them. _Your thoughts are accurate. I was not aware that I was so… transparent._ The last was said with such a clear undertone of regret that her surroundings darkened. She reached for him and grasped… thoughts of his schooling… failure. Disappointment.

_Tuvok. Am I your captain?_

_Yes. You know that you are. What I said to the Laotir was true._

She gave the closest equivalent of a nod that she could. _Then you know how well you can read me, even when I say nothing at all? _She felt a wry bubble of amusement from him at this. He had become notorious on the bridge for knowing what she was going to do before she did. She smiled too. _Well, I'm not nearly as good at guessing what you are up to, but I know my Vulcan. It's…_

_Love. _He was silent for a moment. Janeway felt her joy flood over to tears, and she knew that she was crying on the outside. To love a Vulcan… chasing after foolishness. She felt his warmth close around her. _Forgive me, Kathryn. I did not mean to sadden you. _ He paused, and then the light in her mind grew somehow denser. _I also know what it means to… love… in vain. _ Images formed before her eyes, of herself, on the bridge. Turning her back to him, on his council. In the ready room, with a gentle smile, exactly how she looked in the mirror, thrown over her shoulder as she walked out. Her empty command chair. Her broken body beamed up directly to sickbay. Sickness. Quarantine. Her melted comm badge. So many images… so much fear. Captured on an enemy ship. Weeping on her ready room couch. Grief. Despair that she could not hide from her most trusted friend. She reached for him in her thought space and he was there, and she wrapped herself around him and wept. They floated for a long moment, twined into one.

_I must complete the link, Kathryn. _He had struggled with that thought. Janeway shook herself mentally, and took a step back.

_I'm ready._

The sensation of him inside her thoughts became more pervasive, until she almost couldn't tell where he left off and she began. It might have been terrifying… it should have been. But her heart was so full of grief that she offered no resistance. At the very beginning of her existence, Tuvok found what he was looking for, and a flood of silver light shone from her deepest memory out to the Vulcan in the bed beside her. It was the most astonishing thing she had ever felt, as if she had always been alone until now. The silver cord stretched thinner, and became a thread, and then she heard his voice through her ears.

"Kathryn, can you hear me?" She felt his hand stroking down her back, heard the concern in his voice. She shook her head groggily.

"It worked. Did it work?" She still had not opened her eyes. She felt him shift beside her, and her hand dropped to the hollow of his throat. A faint afterimage of a beautiful explosion from the temple array reached her through his eyes, and she could hear the cheering. Still, for her benefit, he answered.

"It would appear to have been successful." His fingers trailed down her arm and lighted on her wrist to check her pulse. She finally opened her eyes to find that he was watching her closely. "Are you unharmed?"

"In every way that matters to the starship captain, I am." He looked curiously at her, but she could fell the pulse of warmth travel through the link and spread through her mind.

His next question, however, stunned her.

"And to the woman?"

She swallowed, knowing he could feel exactly what she was feeling, and that she couldn't even begin to block her thoughts from him. "The woman is a little out of her depth, Tuvok."

He almost smiled, and she could feel his gentle amusement like a delicious summer breeze. "I do not believe that the woman and the captain can be so far disconnected."

It was her turn to study him. And then, suddenly, the time for study was over, and if he didn't see it coming and get out of the way, then that wasn't her problem. She reached her hand behind his strong neck and pulled herself into his kiss. He immediately accepted her into his strong embrace, having clearly never intended to get out of her way at all. With both hands in her hair now, he had no way to defend himself as she pulled his tunic up over his head. Their kiss was broken only for a moment, then the sensation of their embrace intensified exponentially, felt through the link as well as through their physical bodies. His back under her hands was lean and powerful, and it was hard to believe he was nearly a century old… she felt his near-smile against her mouth, and she grinned as well. His hands crept up underneath the back hem of her tunic until his long fingers curled against her shoulder. She could feel the tension and struggle washing out of him, as their decision was made between one breath and the next, as if there had never been any other.

A frantic pounding on the door interrupted them, and the link was invaded from both ends by a frustrated resignation. Janeway and Tuvok pulled slightly away from each other, committing each others expressions to memory. For one more stolen moment, her hands traced down the muscular planes of his back, knocking be damned. Regret and command responsibilities flooded her in equal parts, but command won out. It always did. She could feel that he was experiencing the same feelings, and coming to the same conclusion, but he took leave to kiss his captain one more time before he stood to open the door.

"Yes? Can we help you?" His voice was a little more terse than usual.

It was Kio again, her head bobbing enthusiastically. "I knew you were a good choice! But please, you are about to overload the Array! I have never seen such a disbursement in all my years—no one has, not even the Eldest. You shall have what supplies you desire, Tuvok and Captain Janeway... but please, no more Joining. We have not such a powerful desire as you. Perhaps you could teach us, Tuvok, but I see now that your captain indeed will never let you go." She bowed. "Come, get dressed and celebrate with us!" She shoved a pile of clothes into Tuvok's hands, and sprinted away down the hall. Tuvok allowed the door to close, not knowing what to say. Janeway stared at the clothing, and then lay bck on the bed, unable to articulate her astonishment at this turn of events. Her command badge chirped, putting a final end to their shattered solitude.

"Chakotay to Janeway."

She was immediately back in command mode. "Janeway here. What happened?"

"The aurora was ignited by a beam from the temple array. It disbursed a huge cloud of nitrogen atoms into the soil. I guess that's what the Ritual is for—the enrichment of the soil." He paused for a moment. "Are you ready to return?"

Janeway smiled sadly, closed her eyes, and shook her head. "We've been asked to celebrate again, but I think we'll just make an appearance. How's the transporter?"

"Fixed."

"Good. I'll get back in touch with you as soon as I can. Janeway out."

Tuvok sat on the edge of the bed and handed her a bundle of clothing. Neither of them spoke for a moment, because neither of them had to. Then Janeway stood and gathered her clothing. "We'll change and make our excuses, and then return to the ship. Negotiations can proceed after we've both had some rest." Tuvok only nodded, allowing her to guide him. He stood, his mahogany skin burnished to gleaming in the brilliant fireworks of the disbursing aurora glow. Janeway never even looked at the sky. She took a deep breath, fixing the moment in her memory, and then turned to change in the small toilet room. It was time.

The Laotir were difficult to convince at first. Janeway was quite exasperated with them before Tuvok stepped in with the brilliant but simple plan of threatening to take her back to their temple room and Join with her again to soothe her temper. The Laotir suddenly all agreed that it would be best for them to go back to their ship and get some rest, not without some astonishment at the sexual prowess of the couple. Janeway was amused, despite everything, at the reputation they were leaving behind. They made a date for the next afternoon to negotiate for supplies for the ship, and Tuvok and she were given a cheerful goodbye.

As they walked out to the beam-out location in the glowing half-light, Janeway turned to him as he walked silently beside her, feeling the urge to ease her mind about something that had been worrying at her. "I promise you that this will not affect the command decisions I make that involve you or myself, one way or another, my friend."

Tuvok lifted an eyebrow slightly. "I was hopeful that you would perhaps take my advice more often, Captain." Mild disappointment radiated along the link, along with a protectiveness that felt so familiar, she wondered why she had never consciously noticed it before. She flicked him an eyebrow.

"I always consider your advice. But I will still make my own decision in the end. Nothing will ever change that, Mr. Tuvok."

"I am very glad to hear that."

Janeway cast a startled look over her shoulder at him, but neither his face or the link betrayed anything but the tiniest flicker of pride… relief… satisfaction? She smiled and nodded once, and then tapped her communicator. "Chakotay, energize."


	9. Balance

The Laotir had been more than generous, almost to a fault, until Janeway was suspicious that they were afraid that Tuvok might decide to stay after all. A society was carefully balanced amongst its resources, and the planet of Baloti seemed to be wanting to get back to normal, post haste. She was able to order them out of orbit with water and cargo holds comfortably full, and the mixed pleasure of seeing the planet fall behind them. She had nearly ordered reverse view, but had caught herself at the last moment. It wasn't the planet that she regretted leaving.

At the end of Alpha shift, she found a handwritten message from her security chief requesting her presence in his quarters. His Federation Standard was as precise as his Vulcan, and she was achingly familiar with his handwriting from the many letters they had traded during their long friendship of separation. She took a moment to think about all that had happened, and to find her peace. In the back of her mind, the silver thread that was him pulsed with warmth and calm. And then she went to see him.

His quarters were dark and warm. She always remembered to slow her steps before entering, since tripping over the heavier gravity wall the first time she had come to see him. It was soothing, being there, so fully surrounded by what he held dear. Understanding as well that this short list included her, and had for a very long time. Tuvok was in the middle of the room, his calmness swelling into a gentle joy at the sight of her. She smiled gently at him. "I've missed you."

His mouth twitched up at the corner very slightly, which registered in her mind as an amused half-smile. "We share the same bridge shift."

Janeway only nodded, knowing that she did not need to elaborate. She could feel him resonate in her physical space at all times, and yet was not able to grasp hold of him. Even now, it was all she could do not to reach out and take his hand. But she mastered herself, for his sake. He motioned her to the low couch and she sat down, tucking her feet up underneath her, and relaxed against the firm cushion. He sat next to her, his head bowed over his thighs, elbows on his knees, hands clasped. She closed her eyes, content to feel him near. It was not enough. It was not what she wanted. But she would be content.

When he spoke, his voice was subdued. "I am requesting your opinion because I am… uncertain of the course of action that should be taken. Logically, I cannot deny that both options that present themselves to me have some equal merit." His brow pursed in thought. "If I leave the link between us, we will continue to be drawn towards physical and emotional contact. This will be… difficult. However, I will also be able to sense you when other modes of communication are not available to us, which seems to happen quite often on this mission. Whether this would be a strong advantage remains to be seen."

Janeway continued to study his shadowed profile. "And your argument for breaking the link, Tuvok?"

He looked at her solemnly. "We would be free to live our lives separate from each other, as before." His brow remained creased, and she sensed discomfort. Perhaps it was her own. She could only shake her head.

"That isn't possible now." She rose from the couch and kneeled down on the floor in front of him, taking his hands in hers, and gazed up into his shadowed eyes. "You asked for my opinion. Here it is. I admit that I am more physically aware of you now, and that awareness is, at the moment, distracting. But for all of this, and the small amount of time I have had to grow accustomed to it…" She paused, searching for the words to explain, and coming up inadequate. "Nothing has really changed."

A bubble of startlement tickled her senses as he leaned slightly away from her. "I don't understand."

Janeway closed her eyes and rested her forehead on his folded hands. "You do. You always have. You know me, sometimes better than I know myself." She met his eyes again, his expression intent now. "I will not see you discomforted. But I am willing to learn, if you are. Knowing you has always been worth the risk."

"You would bear this, even if we never shared a bed, or another touch? Or if I died and the link was severed, a raw wound never to be repaired? I ask this because it must be asked. Kathryn, you must understand what you ask." His hands were squeezing hers so tightly that her bones began to ache, but she squeezed right back until he released her, and then caught her up into his lap, cradling her close. She might not have been outwardly weeping, but he rocked her, his hands tangled in her hair, forehead pressed against her cheek, until all grief was done. In the midst of it, both of them realized that their decision had already been made, back on the planet that had been left behind them; a decision that had set off a magnificent firestorm of which no one, not even the Eldest, had ever seen the like.

After what seemed like hours, when her throat eased enough that she could breathe comfortably, she relaxed back into his embrace. Their silence was no longer of distress, but of new peace. And she was hungry. She smiled gently, her eyes tracing the curve of her dear friend's sensual mouth in the deep shadow, her mind effortlessly in two places at once. "Should we see what Neelix has made from the new Laotir hoard of vegetables, Tuvok?"

He untwined his fingers gently out of her hair. "If we do not, he will undoubtedly come looking for us." Tuvok's expression was relaxed, the link calm like a deep river. "If you would choose to come to my quarters afterward, I have a small amount of tea that I have been wanting to share." Something deep throbbed through the link, deep and painful. Janeway took his arm.

"Tea from Vulcan? Real tea?" She could feel her heart welling up with an untamable sorrow.

Tuvok only nodded, and then caught a single tear on his fingertip as it escaped down his captain's cheek. She steadied herself, and then nodded. "I would be honored."

"The honor would be mine, Kathryn."

She smiled, then. "I like hearing you say my name, Tuvok."

He pursed his brow. "Does it make any difference how I refer to you, Captain?"

"Don't play the innocent Vulcan with me, _Mr._ Tuvok."

"Vulcans are hardly innocents, Captain."

"I believe you more now that I would have two days ago."

"To what exactly are you referring, Captain?"

"First of all, where did you learn how to dance like that?"

"You can hardly maintain that I was fully responsible for my actions while under the influence of an unknown chemical compound…"


End file.
